A CELEBRATION OF THE MOST VACUOUS PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN IN AMERICAN HISTORY |
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DEFINING ANOTHER KEY DOCTRINE
By Michael Asher
NEW YORK (PIO) -- Since Charles Gibson began his tele-journalism career at ABC in 1976, his own guiding principles have, by nature, changed to reflect changing times and political currents, never daring to veer too far from a liberal orthodoxy which, more often than not, coddles Democrats and challenges Republicans. While perhaps not as momentous as the Bush Doctrine, which has progressed from a unilateral withdrawal from international treaties to a Kennedy-esque effort to spread freedom worldwide, a prejudicial focus on one of the permutations of Gibson’s world view over another could conceivably harm future interviewees. Thus, in an effort to prevent such an unsubstantiated and inaccurate inquiry into the meaning of his own eponymous doctrine, it has clearly become necessary to define the Gibson Doctrine and its key tenets as it now stands:
THE GIBSON DOCTRINE
I. Assume that you know more than the subject of your interview and refrain from potentially time-wasting fact-checking that might call your assumptions into question.
II. Unilaterally withhold the respect accorded to liberal subjects from conservative interviewees, especially right-leaning members of predominantly liberal groups such as women, blacks and gays.
III. To emphasize the superiority of your Weltanschauung, attempt to rattle any card-carrying member of the hoi polloi by adopting a supercilious attitude. Your subject is either with us -- the right and left coast elite -- or against us. Remember that the critique of your work rendered by your peers is the be-all and end-all of your existence and any member of the elite class caught hobnobbing with a mere plebeian will be regarded as hostile.
IV. Disrupt expressions of common sense. Gray areas are far more intellectually stimulating than certainty and the very survival of liberty is predicated on the continued predominance of the intellectual fruits of Hollywood, Europe, the legal profession, academia and, most especially, the mainstream media.
